


And Hellcow Makes Three

by ourgirlfriday



Category: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Dialogue Heavy, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:34:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3062837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourgirlfriday/pseuds/ourgirlfriday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is Erik, and Charles, and a vampire cow.  Of course there is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Hellcow Makes Three

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what this is, but dammit it's the first thing I've written in months so I'm sharing it with you. Sorry. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also Hellcow is real and the best.

“That’s a cow.”

“Yes,” Magneto responded. Granted, Charles hadn’t actually _asked_ a question, but he figured it’d be better to be helpful in this case. 

“A cow. Why is there a cow?” Charles looked between the cow, Bessie, and Magneto’s own magnificent form. “Am…am I having some psychotic break? Am I imagining this? Is it alien mind control again? Please tell me it’s alien mind control again.”

“No such luck,” Magneto answered as he strutted to Charles’ chair. “If it helps, she’s a vampire cow.” 

“A vampire cow? You’re shitting me now, Lehnsherr.”

“Nope. Wilson found her. Brought her to me. Lord knows why.”

“So you bring her here? Of course you do, you bring everything else here. I do have students other than your progeny, you know.” Charles looked like he was debating laughing, crying, or running over Magneto’s feet with his chair. It was a look Magneto was all too familiar with, and surprisingly fond of. It was no Look Of Passion #37, or Fond Gaze #2, but it had its charm. 

“Of course,” Magneto answered unruffled. Obviously Mystique’s children attended Xavier’s School too. Amongst others, probably. Maybe. And now, a cow. “I thought she could help around the school.”

“You thought a vampire cow would be helpful at a school for young mutants. Of course you did. This is why Hank protested your tenure. Why didn’t I listen to him? Why did I let your marvelous ass carry the day?” Charles ran a hand over his face and head, and Magneto tried not to preen at the marvelous ass comment. Judging by Xavier’s glare, he failed most spectacularly. 

“I thought she could protect you. From Summers.”

“I thought we discussed this, Erik. Scott apologized for the murdering thing, I doubt it’s going to come up again.” 

“I’d still feel better if you’d let me eviscerate him, darling.” Magneto murmured as he set his marvelous ass in Charles’ lap.

“Evisceration isn’t always the answer, you know.” Charles countered, smiling up at Magneto. 

“I know. Sometimes the answer is a vampire cow. Obviously.” 

“Obviously,” Charles muttered as he rested his head against Magneto’s shoulder. “I suppose she can stay. You did go to all this trouble, after all.” 

“Besides, LeBeau needs a roommate. Maybe she can teach him some manners.” He ran his hand over Charles’ head.

Bessie mooed.


End file.
